aspiringboreyko

 Brendan feels like that might be a butterfly opening up residence in his stomach. =D

I stole a fan from the classroom on the ground floor. Don't tell anyone... 

This will be the best sleep EVER. I'm stoked

So I haven't done this in a while, so I'm rusty, but I'm sure you'll all forgive me of that.

I'm currently in the ground level of the Lutheran Seminary in Saskatoon (yay for prairie campuses... or campi) but anyway, It's dark and late and I'm crouched over a poorly lit labtop that belongs to a very nice man and he said I could use it. More importantly of this trip for the conducting wonderfulness... .I am not the youngest person here.... there is a guy from UBC who is a year younger and another guy from Manhatten school of music who is a year older than I.

I'm having fun... making friends... not really picking up on the style.. but I practiced a whole 2 and half hours inside another building which is air conditioned unlike where i am now. There's a chapel and I played the allemande from partita in a minor and it echoed like no tomorrow it's so pretty but I was dripping with sweat after 4 minutes.... not even kidding.. i was barely wearing shorts and a shirt... damn saskatoon heat wave.. but yes as you can see i don't use capitols or periods on their own anymore because someone is waiting to get on here. but I felt the need to spread some sort of word to anyone out there in winnipeg.

I'll be back in a week.. but i won't see most of you until my chamber program...

Bye bye everybody. :)

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

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Wow, sorry for the lateness of the explanation about Saskatoon... maybe I was trying to keep you all in suspence for a while.

But anyway, the reason for Saskatoon, is a conducting workshop. It's the 2006 International Seito Conducting Workshop and I got the very last spot in it. So I will be spending a week being all hardcore conducting (which hopefully will be spiced up by a visit from some NYB pals).

I'm also spending a week in Toronto at the beginning of July working with G-Mac and Blatti on conducting. YAY!!!

So I will get to write these two workshops on my CV and then I'll look even more credible as a conductor.

Lastly in the world of conducting, I've decided I'm just going to go for doing the Chamber groups this summer and see where it will lead me. If they are horrible and stressful then atleast I'll learn more about doing that sort of thing. And besides this will be the third year in a row that I've "Coordinated and Directed an Annual Chamber Music Program through the University of Manitoba" which looks pretty good for being 20.

Any suggestions on repertoire are welcome. :)

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For anyone out there who is interested I will be in Saskatoon from July 23rd to 29th!!!! YAY!!!!!

It is such a beautiful day out today and yesterday and the day before. I love summer. Green leaves and sunny skies. It is so much better than evil winter, in which I spend more time outside... booo winter.

But anyways, I miss NYB so much now. Life is starting to getting complicated as I realize all of the things that I need to do during the summer... But I am going to the Pal tonight for a birthday party! I plan on dancing the night away and not drink a thing. (still avoiding liquor... no alcoholism for me thanks).

Speaking of which, clarinettists out there, I'm looking for a book to teach my little kid out of. She's a pretty average grade ten and she is slowly approaching the playing of hard music (level 6 for Manitobans)

Secondly, I'm unsure as to whether or not I want to run some chamber-y wonderfulness this summer. I can guarentee it would not be all summer. My thought is a two week period in mid-August and have 3-5 rehearsals and then a performance. Send any advice/thoughts/criticism that you can.

Bye for now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay for summer!!!

So I haven't really gotten anything done since I got back from NYB.

I need to get on the ball and get this Peace Gardens thing happening...

Yeah... I really have nothing to say... but I felt the need of just typing something here so that you all could read it and get some sort of fix.

Oh well.

Maybe I'll have something really good to say later....

Bye

So I figure I am finally at peace with recent events that I can start to put them all out there for you online folk.

Exams went fairly well, my GPA doesn't reflect that though... Stupid ensembles for giving me B's. I can understand why they did it, but still... Connie should've given me an A! But yes, my highest mark was Woodwind Tech and I only went to three classes from September to April... Maybe I'm not supposed to be going to class... I think I might be on to something.

But alas, my audition went badly. Apparently my tone quality just disappeared once I got on the stage, so my mark was a B. So no performance for next year (although there was apparently some e-mails sent back and forth and much discussion, they figure that this isn't really the best path for me to take right now). Laurel was really nice about it, but how can you really just smile and say oh well... let's get together next week to discuss rep for next year. Oh well, my life isn't over.

I am now strongly considering leaving after next year and finishing the degree out at Toronto. As that is where I hope to be for my Masters... I've got lots of ideas on what classes I want to take next year, so I'm going to spend the next couple months seeing which ones I can get approved to take.

More on that later...


NYB rocked my sox. I have never had so much fun in a week and a half. The people were all really amazing. I learned everyone's name really quickly (mostly because I would remember their name and cheers them... yay for liquor). Aside from some minor tiffs with Linky it went so swimmingly. I can't wait for the pictures and then I'll make some sort of intense collage so that I can always remember everyone's awesomeness.


So yes.... that's been the major parts of the past little while.

Except for the deal with my parents... but as that is still in more limbo than Jamaica I don't feel like sorting it out into coherent sentences.

Anyway, I get to do some small practicing tonight and it will be completely for myself... yay for no demands from external sources!!

See you all very soon!!!

I would just like to say thank you to whoever read the conversation between me and god. I beleive that it made me a better person and I hope it did the same thing to the rest of you.

Anyway, Winnipeg Winds tonight... very interesting music, none of it is common repertoire so it's definitely a good learning experience. 8:00- Glenlawn and $5 I think....

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YAY!!

Sorry for the intense length... I'm not aware of how to do those link things.... so I'm sorry that you have the whole thing in your friends lists

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Yay for a bassoonist

Yay for a second oboist

Yay for extra long rehearsal (30 minutes longer)

Yay for Clowns and Der Traum being easy

....


I think this will actually work now!

So I have spent the past 20 minutes being unbelievably productive so I get a break... which feels odd as 20 minutes isn't terribly long... but I did get things done... which I will now list... so there...

1. E-mailed Dr. L about summer conducting workshop (which I'm going to take with Karen Clarke... yay) as well as getting my music to him at Kathy's recital tonight... if he comes.

2. Burned Michelle's CD for her so she can listen and re-record if she so desires.

3. Found my Der Traum score and studied it for about 7 minutes while listening to a recording... it's for sure in as there are no crazy technical spots, just balance things, but it's lots of fun.

4. Signed myself up for a painful ass-kicking and belitteing experience for every Sunday for most of the summer... which means... I called Sherry Bonness today and asked if I could get lessons from her on Sundays. I told her I still play flute... she then said that oboe and flute are complete opposites... and then I said kind of... and she said no, they're complete opposites. She later said, are you sure that you're going to still go with the flute? Which I responded with "It's kind of my major at UofM and I can't switch it" which is a gross understatement, but I didn't want to upset her... but yes... I have a lesson tomorrow at 1:30 and we'll see if I can make it through without crying. This now makes me think of Naoum, but I'm pretty sure he yells, Sherry gets quietly bitchy and verbally abusive, which makes me think of Patti Green... so we'll see how this goes.


I've got a couple more things to do today... erase music, study scores for tomorrow and maybe deal with a small issue on the side... nothing major so no worries. :)

See you all soon

-except Deanna, cuz no one likes her... boo...

I'm optimistic.

So I've come to quite the conclusion... wait... not the right words, I've come to an understanding of what my current situation is. Alas, this is going to be another update solely based on my wind ensemble. I'm beginning to feel like a broken record and that all I write on this is about the same topic and it hasn't been good news in a long while. Anyway, if you have no interest in this skip the whole entry.

It's time to admit that I am incapable of doing this. The things I'm trying don't seem to be working and I screwed up with picking rep. But anyway... I'm contemplating removing one of our songs and possibly replacing it with something easier/quicker to put together. Any of you out there that are involved please post your input... what you'd cut, why and put you'd replace it with.

Anyway, I don't feel like typing out the distresses of the day yet, so maybe I'll fully type out my thoughts later on in the evening.

But anyway, off to practice so have a pleasent evening to anyone out there. :)

If you're not down with the LJ rants and drama, please skip this post.

Ugh!! I feel so dejected today. I need to find some way to leveling out my mood. I was on cloud nine yesterday with wonderful spastic amazingness that pretty much started with Janice... but anyways, yesterday was great. And then today was just awful. It seemed like everything I did was forced and quite opposed. I intensely dislike Susan Leeson. I had to move the practice-a-thon posters because there are recitals between now and friday and it doesn't look professional (her words too). and also it was "bad enough that we have that stuff up there" referring to the elections posters... those purple ones for us running for positions on student council... what's the deal... and the recital tonight, was a post-bac jazz recital... ummmm... nothing against any jazzers, but I'm guessing that the crowd tonight wasn't really coming for a professional atmosphere... stupid... but anyways, I moved them (after finishing them up... yay... thanks Deena for your awesome names... "Level 1- It must be your first time, we'll be gentle" "Level 3- You rock my socks, We'll totally adopt you"... etc.... but yes, so band and such...

So band... I'm beginning to feel like this concert is purely going to turn into one of those... he's young he needs to make some mistakes... but anyway, I feel like if I really dredge out the details and whatnots it'll make me fairly depressed.

I will say that I miss Samara already... but I know she left for good reasons... which she herself seemed really upset about, but anyway, we'll miss her and maybe she could try to come back for the Peace Gardens trip. but yes... I like that phrase but yes, it works for those half conversations in my head that don't actually make sense or just draw upon too much stuff for me to type out.

I don't think that there is any solution at this point to start to fix things. I'm also very sick of always trying to find those solutions to the constant problems that seem to arise... which leads me right back to the intense drama... I can't figure out what it is... Every little thing will just put me in a really bad mood and such... but yes...

I think I'm going to listen to how we actually sounded this evening... maybe it'll be good news... maybe not... who knows / who cares


===========================================

So I spent a couple hours charging my batteries so that I could listen to the recording, and so three hours after I started this post I'm now listening to them for the second time.

The big conclusion I've come to after listening to the 35 minutes of music is... I can just sense the tension in the room... This next sentence I say could change your life... it probably won't because it's about a band which most of you aren't even a part... but anyways... I'll actually finish the sentence now... The conclusion I've come to is that I'm pretty much verbatim repeating the mistakes of last year. I feel pretty ashamed of myself right now for being so blind as to what I'm doing. I've picked too much music and stuff that's too hard for some people and some sections don't even stand a chance at being able to play their part with conviction and musicality. Alas, in a strange way, I'm very happy that I didn't record Sword and the Crown at all. I think I'd possibly be committing suicide if I was reliving that part of the rehearsal. But yes....

Maybe it's because of the lack of core musicians... we were missing quite a few people... but I don't think that it's over with... Sunday will be horrifying for the trumpets... that's a fact...

I need to stop getting so down about this stuff... There is potential within the group to fix about 75% of the mistakes that we're making... I guess I will just need to be more prepared for rehearsals and do some solid score memorizing. Maybe I could bring extra tuners and throw them at people in the middle of playing. We would definitely have some angry people that would throw them back at me.

I think I will go to sleep soon, tomorrow will bring different emotions and opinions so maybe I'll feel better/more optimistic in the morning.

PS. I'd rather not receive any comments on this entry... I didn't write this for any sympathy and I don't really want any.

Things to do this week-

Compliment the band
Find an additional piece
Congratulate/Console those kids that went for honour band
Practice.... yeah, this time the real music....
Make my tape test... yikes on this one...
Monday recital w/ Musical Theatre, Tuesday w/ Michael, Thursday w/ some randomn chamber stuff (maybe)
And definitely relaxing and appreciating everyone around me


So upon reading this a week later... I can safely say some things above and beyond got accomplished where as others seemed to fall very short.

Find an additional piece... done and done... yay.

Monday and Tuesday recital... also done and done... as for Thursday, I was exhausted and sad so early to bed that night.

Practice... well Friday and Saturday went really well, but I'd say that only those two days of the whole week.

Congratulate/consoling... went really well. I only had to console two, but they didn't even think they'd make it, so I just suggested some things to work on for next time. Most of my kids made it into the top half.

Tape test... well I'm almost finished... only have the oboe piece to do, but that might wait for a while.

Relaxing and appreciating... hmmmmmm... well I did drink on Wednesday and that makes me appreciative, so I'll assume that I made everyone feel sligthly awkward on that night, and the rest was fairly stress and unhappy so maybe next week will work better.

Anyway, I accomplished much today and my feet are killing me... so I'm going to head off to some ritual late night Sunday supper and then a good nap followed by intense schoolage tomorrow.

Instead of doing a long run-on update this evening, I'm going to make some short ones that I will be doing while on break from doing homework... Now pick yourself off the ground, because I'm only doing homework out of guilt and part exhaustion, I probably won't be trying this again.

But anyways, my first comment of this evening is that wow... how do you write an octet that last for 70 minutes... well you make 6 movements. The third movement is Scherzo and Trio (with all repeats included), the fifth is Menuetto and Trio (again with all repeats, the first movement in Sonata-allegro form (with the entire first half repeated... all 7 minutes... twice for no really good reason) and lastly make the fourth movement a THEME AND VARIATIONS. I left to go pee during the fourth movement and came back and it wasn't even half way through.

I just felt the need to type this and send it off into cyberspace... odds are if you're reading these you're probably bored or addicted, so I feel that we've all learned from this entry.

If you want any hoodies/fleeces that have FofM logo on it... please bring money on Monday ($40 for fleece, $30 for hoodie) and you can place your order. This is the second back-up order for those of you that might've forgotten to submit the first time and don't want to be left out now.... namely me... but yes, Stu-Co needs 12 orders to actually submit this second order... they're not quite there yet, so if interested be on the ball (unlike me) and bring money and fill out a form on Monday and give it to Erin Lees.

Also, in related news, I might be running for treasurer for next year, so I might be asking people to sign some forms on Sunday night... please.... pretty please... with sugar and cherries... and lots of whipped cream.